PIRATES!
by BackTo1955
Summary: I decided to put this in BTTF because of the end of it. What happens when Biff Tannen's g-g-g-grandfather attacks a ship from Celia Rees' book, [Pirates!]?


[Adam Broom, Minerva Sharpe, and Nancy Kington are from the book called "Pirates!" by Celia Rees, and the name "Tannen" is from the Back to the Future movies. Captain Tannen is based on the Tannen characters of BTTF]

Captain Tannen stood in front of his pirates as they drew closer and closer to the next ship. The pirate flags had not been hung yet, and both ships were sure the other was a merchant ship. Aye, they were wrong.

The ocean brought the ships closer and closer together, and history itself even held its breath. Tannen was one of the most well known captains of that sea, and most likely to kill one army with one swing. He wasn't the brightest, but he was most feared. Most of the time he liked to set his mind on one treasure (or person) and let his crew do the rest, but whatever he was after most likely would end up in his clutches or at the bottom of the sea, if it was a person. Merchants were so afraid when he loaded his weapons that they surrendered right away, thinking he'd be finished with them, but Tannen never left without a fight. He and his crew of pirates would capture more than what they needed, and sometimes even gained a new ship.

"All right, get ready men! We've got some chums to kill." A smirk appeared on his face as he stood tall in front of his crew. He had his gun in his hand first, so the first chum to come after him would be fish food. Around his waist on his belt was an axe, a cutlass, an extra pistol, and even a strong fishing line with a hook at the end. On the left of his belt was a spyglass that he never used unless necessary.

"Uh, Captain..." one of the other pirates said hesitantly after lowering his spyglass and squinting into the distance. "They're lowering their flags..."

"No one speaks when we're on attack except me, Chum!" the captain roared suddenly, not taking his eyes off the ship or the smirk off his face.

"But Captain, just look through your spyglass!" the pirate, who's name was Charlie, continued protesting against the captain no matter how dangerous, which made the rest of the pirates grow uneasy. "I'm telling you, that ship don't belong to no merchants!"

"I KNOW A MERCHANT SHIP WHEN I SEE ONE, CHUM! Now I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want to have a personal trip to Davie Jones' Locker!" he pointed the gun at the pirate and kept it there until he finally backed down. He didn't do it happily, for he kept muttering to himself, but the Captain only rolled his eyes and turned back to the ship. He took out his spyglass, but only to show that he was right. He was the captain, and if anyone noticed something fishy, it would be him. He put the spyglass up to his eye as he chuckled to the pirate who had spoken out. "You see, just a plain merchant...DMN!" he lowered his spyglass and glared at Charlie who was chuckling to himself. "They really aren't bloody merchants!"

"Then what are they, Cap'n?" a fatter pirate asked after he dropped his spyglass overboard when he was fumbling with it. He had been shaking with fear, as almost every pirate did. Every pirate except Tannen anyway.

"PIRATES!" a roar escaped another pirate's mouth, and everyone was suddenly running around the ship, shouting, running, tripping, or loading the cannons. "Raise the flag! Raise the flag!"

"So, pirate against pirate, aye? This should be fun." Captain Tannen stuffed his spy glass back into his belt and targeted his gun. The sea continued to pull them closer and closer as everyone waited for the two ships to collide.

....

"Dmn." Adam Broom sweared as he saw the Tannen Pirate Flag get raised.

"What's wrong?" Nancy Kington, one of the female pirates on the ship, asked, already green from nervousness.

"That's not a merchant ship we're sailing to." He said, not removing his gaze.

"Who does it belong to?" Minerva Sharpe, the second woman on the ship, asked, not looking nearly as worried as Nancy.

"Sea Lyin' Tannen, as some drunken men on this ship were calling him last night." Adam sighed, but he still looked strong. "I know that we're good enough to fight him. All I need to ask of you is..." he looked left, right, then he leaned in to Nancy and Minerva to whisper, "Don't call him that nick name. Hates it." Their captain gave them a grin and a wing, and then he ordered the rest of the pirates to get ready for an unexpected battle. Nancy threw her friend a nervous glance, but she only took her hand and said, "Remember what we talked about in our first attack." She nodded. Nancy had been getting braver and braver after each attack, but she was suddenly worried again.

"We'll get through his." Minerva said confidently. "Have you ever heard of Captain Tannen?"

"I've heard a little," Nancy confessed. "But not too much."

"Well, I guess we'll find out if the stories are true now." She gave Nancy a wink, then the two of them got ready to jump the gap between ships.

....

The fight began, and it wasn't pretty. Captain Broom and his pirates had all jumped onto Tannen's ship, which was a mistake. He knew his ship well, and it didn't take long for Adam to realize he was loosing. "GUARD OUR SHIP!" he roared through the cannon bangs when he realized that Tannen's pirates were sneaking loot from his ship onto their ship.

"Aye, Captain!" a voice from above his said loyally. He looked up to find no one else but Nancy Kington. They grinned at each other, then she headed back to the "Deliverance." It wasn't long until many pirates were on the floor, wounded, and then Nancy found herself in a small swordfight with Charlie, who was battling for rum.

"You think you can beat me?" Charlie laughed in her face, but Nancy thought nothing of it.

"I KNOW I can beat you." She said, blocking a blow. Charlie just smirked as he quickly switched to his pistol. Nancy was caught unprepared and would have been shot if it wasn't for her friend, Minerva. She had come swinging in from a rope and kicked Charlie square in the jaw. A not so pleasant cracking noise erupted, but neither of them noticed as they smiled at each other. "Thanks Minerva."

"No problem." They jumped back onto Tannen's ship where most of the trouble was taking place. Adam was battling against Tannen, who was now outnumbered. He was never a man to be worried about numbers, however. He laughed as he knocked Adam's cutlass from his hand, and nearly cutting the hand off in the process. Adam didn't wince, but he did hesitate.

"Now, to finish you off." He said with a laugh as he took out his favorite pistol and aimed it in the middle of Adam's chest. Everything seemed to become deathly quiet, even the sea rocking them back and forth. The weather was getting appropriate for a death, but no one gave up faith just yet.

"Say hello to "Davie Jones" when you get down there, Chum!" Tannen shouted, and he pulled the trigger.

"NO!" Minerva pulled the captain out of the way just in time of the shot, but it might not have been the smartest thing to do.

"Minerva! Captain!" Nancy turned away from her fight to see if she was all right. In fact, all most every pirate stopped their fighting and turned their heads to Tannen, Broom, and Minerva. Everyone held their breath.

"Who do you think you are, Chum?" Captain Tannen walked back onto the deck, and approached a now standing Minerva. Fear didn't show on her face as she faced the Sea Lyin' pirate himself.

"I know I am Minerva Sharpe, if you must know." She said bravely, looking him straight in the eye. She seemed to be the only one who was calm on the entire ship.

Nancy's hand went slowly to her belt, where she took out her gun. She had a sudden feeling that she would need it to help Minerva and Adam.

"A woman, beat me?" Tannen snorted as he stuck the gun's point into the middle of Minerva's chest. "I thought you were better than to let a woman on your ship, Broom." He laughed at Adam, who was on the ground, trying to stop his hand from bleeding. The evil captain removed his gun from Minerva, but it was still pointing at her.

"You don't know the women I have on my ship." Broom said strongly.

Tannen laughed again and ordered his crew to laugh with his as he said, "I'd like to get to know them, though." Nancy thought Minerva was going to smack Tannen, but she didn't move.

"You saved my target. You know what that means, don't you?" he asked Minerva, the smirk back on his face.

"Aye," Minerva said simply. "I become your new target."

"NO!" Nancy said breathlessly. "I have to save her." Nervously she fumbled with her pistol just as Tannen pointed his gun at Minerva again.

"Say good bye, Little Girl." He said in a mocking voice, then the trigger was squeezed again- only it didn't belong to him.

The Captain's gun went spinning from his hand, and slid across the floor to the other side of the ship. While Tannen was distracted and confused, Nancy grabbed a rope and came swinging towards the deck. Furiously she stuck the gun in Tannen's side and threatened to shoot if he didn't do what she asked.

The captain was taken aback for a moment, but he just started to laugh again. "Two women on board, aye?"

"Don't push it, Tannen." Nancy said coldly. Tannen just snorted again.

"You're actually going to shoot me?" Nancy didn't nod or shake her head. She continued to glare at him.

"You heard her," Adam said, finally getting up from the ground. "She said do what she wants and she'll let you go."

"All right," Captain Tannen put his hands up in the air as if he was giving up. "What do you want me to do?"

Nancy hesitated. She couldn't trust him. His name was Sea Lyin' Tannen, for Broom's sake. She had to be careful. Maybe it would be best to just shoot him then and there. She looked over at Minerva, and it seemed like they swapped ideas without talking. The two of them nodded at each other, and Nancy decided that maybe humiliation was the way to go.

"I want you to take down your flag, and put up a white one instead. 'Sea Lyin' Tannen Surrenders' must be written on it, and it must be high enough for all the ships in the area to see. Then, I want you to surrender to Broom. To Broom and all the other pirate captains out there."

"Aye, and don't forget about the merchants." Minerva spoke up, a smile escaping onto her face.

"Aye, and the merchants."

Tannen took one look at Nancy and Minerva's determined faces, and snorted again. "That's all you expect me to do?" Nancy pushed the gun harder into his side, so hard that he let out a yelp. "All right, fine. But I'm not going to put that dmn nickname on the flag."

"Oh yes you are." Nancy said, smirking at Minerva. "Or else..."

"Or else what?" Tannen sneered, but just as he said it a group of pirates that Broom had been speaking to after Nancy and Minerva exchanged glances came out from under deck with a big case of Tannen's latest treasure capture. Carrying it over to the side of the ship, they dropped the gold goblet.

"Or else we'll dump that whole treasure of yours to Davie Jones' Locker." Nancy pushed the gun farther in to remind him it was there. He let out another yell of pain before surrendering.

"All right, all right, Chums. I'll do what you say." He said lamely, then Nancy immediately tied the rope around his two hands.

"Glad we could do service with you, Sea Lyin' Tannen." She said, smiling as he glared and tried to kick her. "I hate that name!" he shouted.

The rest of Brooms pirates took the rest of Tannen's pirates to join their crew, while Minerva and Nancy helped Adam with his hand. "You were quite the heroes back there!" Adam said happily. "I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful."

"Don't say that, you did great! It was a great plan we made." Nancy said, and Minerva agreed.

"We should have a toast later tonight." Adam announced to the rest of the crew. They huzzahed loudly in triumph and headed back to the "Deliverance."

....

Nancy made the new flag for Tannen's ship, but some of the crew members weren't sure about her plan. "Shouldn't we just leave him on an island?" one of them asked her, but she only smiled at Minerva.

"Don't worry about it, men." Adam said happily. "We've decided to hang the flag up on Tannen's ship, but Tannen will stay on our ship."

"Are you mad? He'll probably slit our throats in the middle of the night!"

"Don't be so sure. He'll be locked up until we get to the next port, then we'll turn him in to the navy." Adam winked at Nancy and Minerva one last time before he left the room.

"Aye," said the pirate lazily. "I guess that's a good enough plan. I would have liked to go back to the island one day though, and find his bones."

....

"I hate that stupid story." Biff Tannen turned the page of the "Tannen History" book he had found in the basement. "Why did my great-great-great grandfather have to be such a Butthead? If I was him I would have slit that girl's throat right then and there. Unless she was good looking, of course." He snickered to himself and looked at the next Tannen that was in the book. "Buford Tannen..."


End file.
